Episode 80: Livin' the Dream

Transcript

there's a phrase or an interaction i there's a certain interaction that has become like
nails on a chalkboard to me and it goes like this two people
either bump into each other or hop on a zoom call or whatever
and one says how's it going and the other one says living the dream
this phrase living the dream makes me want to tear my ears off the sides of my head
i think i think the the main reason that it bothers me so much other than the fact that i mean i think
all of my complaints about this are wrapped in the fact that it has become a very frequently used
phrase that the the people there are more and more people who say this more and more frequently
right i it's overheard it's like hearing like a good or a bad song on the radio it doesn't matter
if it's good or bad if you hear it too much you know it sours eventually probably also just dated
myself by talking about listening to a song on the radio but outside of the fact that it's just
become this overused phrase and setting aside the fact that the people who say it really seem to think
they're being clever like i'll put that aside too once i dig past those things one of the main things
that bothers me about this is that it is so overtly extremely negative but it's wrapped up in a pleasantry
like saying this thing living the dream you're quipping right it's it's a quip and the when someone says it
they kind of want a little bit of a chuckle out of it or a smile and often get that
because it is kind of a funny amusing phrase because we all know that in truth when when someone says
that what they're kind of meaning is like whatever i'm doing is a grind i'm not doing the things that i
would rather be doing i'm not really achieving any of the goals i'm trying to achieve i'm just living
the dream right and it i find it deeply upsetting for whatever reason that there is this quippy thing
that has become very pervasive in in conversation this quippy thing that is so deeply negative
but guised as kind of a jokey light-hearted phrase because if you dig in if you really sit
and think about it think about what's probably meant by that phrase i think that well runs deep
now people who know me i don't think it would be a stretch for people to call me at least negative at
times uh or possibly pessimistic and actually i did an episode on this which i'll link to
it's not my exact viewpoint but even for me someone who tends to find things wrong with things
like that is part of one of my gifts in life for better or for worse is to listen to something
and then figure out the stuff that's wrong with that now i try to put that to good use and that's
what i talked about on the on the episode that i did but even for me someone who could probably
pretty honestly be accused of being somewhat negative this phrase for whatever reason has
just gotten like stuck in my craw as just something that i find it just deeply simultaneously depressing
disingenuous and again just overused but the other thing that it brings to mind for me
it's not just that it's negative and it's not just that it's quippy and it's not just that it's
overused it's that it takes it's it it shows that that when saying it that all agency it it denies
the idea of agency right it's kind of like saying you know i'll live in the dream but my follow
question like i just want to be like well you know what's your dream right what what's can you change
your dream like if you're not is it the dream's fault is it your fault should you should you change
your dream should you change what you're doing to achieve the dream you already have like there's a
lot of other paths here aside outside of simply you know grinding through whatever it is you're grinding
through and then when people ask you how you are saying this sarcastic line of living the dream
it's non-productive it's kind of like an excuse it's kind of like saying you know as long as i can
quip about it it's somebody else's fault if you're not living your dream maybe you need to change your
dream or maybe you need to change the way you're living or both if your only outlet is to get on zoom
calls and tell everyone you're living the dream when in fact you know you you're grinding through
something you know life in a way that it's just work a day day in day out no real care about what
you're doing what you've done is turn yourself into a cog because i guarantee you if you're not living
your dream you're probably a cog in someone else's dream and i hear this so much now and it just feels
like it's starting to feel like everyone's just really beaten down you know everyone feels like
they've lost a lot of agency over what they can and can't do in the world and what they can and can't
do on a daily basis how much work they have to produce or not what kind of say they have over the
work they're doing or not and it's like everyone's just getting through it with this one phrase like
it's not so bad as long as we can quip about it the next time you say something like this and again i i
know i'm ranting but this isn't like a if you say this you're an asshat kind of thing that's not what
i'm saying here what i'm saying is next time you're thinking about saying this think about what you're
really saying or next time you hear this from someone else think about what they're really saying
because every time i hear it what i hear is you know things are okay at best probably a little below
average i don't have much say in most of the things i do i'm not really working toward anything i care
about and i'm feeling a little beaten down i think all that's a shame because if it really is this many
people with this increasing frequency you know it's a rough place for society to be i think
and i'm not really much in terms of you know how do we fix society because i think that those problems
are really big and require a lot of concerted effort from a lot of people and a lot of luck
you know i think it's popular with history to hang everything on you know the names of a few very
important historical characters but it wasn't just those that character or two that did all the things
right there was a lot of other things going on a lot of other factors so i'm not much for how you fix
society i think that's too complex of a problem for someone to sit around and theory craft about all the
time but you know maybe you can fix yourself right maybe you can at least do that anyway nailed on a
chalkboard i don't i don't like this one i know it's quippy i know it's light-hearted i know it's an
easy way to start a meeting but i think it fundamentally is is enabling us all to excuse ourselves
for not being all that happy
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